The commencement address I gave — and the one I almost didn’t.
The last time I gave a commencement address at the College of Saint Benedict, I was the student speaker.
It was 1999. I was 22. And I was so proud of the title I’d chosen for my student address that I had been chosen to give.
Then I got called into the Provost’s office.
And I left a little smaller. A lot less brave. (Read the speech if you want to hear the whole story!)
Fast forward 27 years: I walked back onto that stage last weekend and gave the speech I actually wanted to give — in front of the Class of 2026, their families, their professors, and a very patient administration. (Hi. I’m back!)
I wrote this talk for a room full of smart, passionate women who are leaving the college nest. But I’ve heard from their parents. Their professors. People who weren’t in that room at all.
Because the truth is — when I speak, I create the talk for the audience – of course! – but they are always reminders for myself too. As they say, we often teach what we most need to learn. <3
And maybe we could all use a nudge to go for the no right now.
Here’s the speech, in full. I hope something in it moves you.
— Sally Z
Go for the No
Commencement Address | College of Saint Benedict | May 2026
Sally Koering Zimney, ’99
The last time I gave a commencement address at Saint Ben’s, I was sitting right where you are.
It was 1999. We were also wearing baggy jeans and flannels (before you all made it actually cool).
I was so excited and honored to give the student address. I wrote it like a love letter to St. Ben’s — the friendships we’d formed, the dreams and courage we’d cultivated – the skinny-dipping in the Sag we’d managed to pull off! — and landed on a title inspired by an author my Bennie roomies and I were obsessed with. An author named SARK.
Very 1990’s. Bright neon splashes of inspiration and whimsy. She gave weird and wonderful life advice like – “Describe yourself as marvelous!” and “Tell the truth faster!” and “Practice extravagant lounging!” – and I thought she was perfectly Bennie.
So I titled my commencement address — a speech given in front of grandparents and professors and administrators — after her most famous book.
I titled it: Succulent, Wild Women.
I know, right? It had sass. A little feisty. Maybe even a tiny bit saucy?
And then I got called into the Provost’s office.
Now — I am almost 50 years old and I still feel like I might be doing something wrong at the liquor store. I will sit at a four-way stop for three full minutes in an all-out “NO, YOU GO” battle with the Minnesotan across from me. So when I got called into the Provost’s office, you can imagine the state I was in.
But of course, she was kind and respectful. She said: Sally, we respect your voice and this opportunity. And then… she asked if I would consider changing the title.
My inner people-pleaser took about .2 seconds to take over: OH MY GOSH ABSOLUTELY I WILL CHANGE IT RIGHT NOW NO PROBLEM AT ALL I’M SO SORRY PLEASE EXCUSE ME WHILE I RUN AND MAKE IT BETTERRRRR!!
And off I ran — to not just change the title, but adjust all kinds of little things to make it more… palatable. I left her office a little smaller. A lot less brave.
I can’t even tell you what I changed it to. It was so forgettable I’ve forgotten. It was… fine. It was everything Succulent, Wild Women was not.
So — to President [Breece] and the dear CSB/SJU admin who invited me today — thank you for having me. And: I’M BAAAACKKK. I’m nearly 50 now, so I care a lot less what you think. And I’m feeling especially Succulent Wild Women-y these days. So. Get ready.
Since leaving these beautiful campuses I have spent my career studying what moves people — from where they are to where they want to go, and what holds them back from getting there. I speak to and work with leaders all across this country who- despite their respective titles or talent – wrestle with what I call the self-doubt spiral — and it slows them down from having the impact that is just on the other side of their discomfort and courage.
So let’s normalize this right now: 71% of all leaders experience self-doubt. (And based on my experience, the other 29% are lying.)
In fact, if you’re not experiencing self-doubt — I wonder if your dreams are big enough.
Self-doubt is not a sign that you’re not ready. It’s not a verdict on your potential. It’s not the truth. It’s a story — a loud, coercive, deeply annoying story we often tell ourselves right before we do something that matters.
That self-doubt story thinks it’s protecting us. But it’s actually keeping us small.
As you walk out of here today into what’s next: new places, new roles, new rooms where you’re the youngest or the only or the most terrified person at the table — that voice will get louder. That’s its job.
Your job is to do it anyway. To not just go for the yes – but to go for the no. To get cozy with rejection and purposefully go beyond what our protective brain thinks is realistic, palatable, or even possible.
That’s what Succulent, Wild, Women Do.
In fact, we’re going to practice. Right now.
In a moment I’m going to ask you to stand up — yes, everyone! Families, bonus points if you join us. We’re going to take a page directly from SARK.
She tells us (literally, right here in her book) – that Succulent, Wild Women shout: I’M HERE. I’M SUCCULENT. AND I’M LOUD.
Kinda ridiculous, but she’s not wrong. So, let’s do this.
Everyone stand up.
Now – On three, we’re all going to shout: I’M HERE. I’M SUCCULENT. AND I’M LOUD.
It’s more fun if you do it together. And get yer hands up.
Ready? Say it like you mean it!! —- One. Two. Three:
[I’M HERE. I’M SUCCULENT. AND I’M LOUD.]
Applause, applause – Have a seat. Well done.
Ok -let’s be a student of that for a moment:
- How many of you felt your heart rate jump — Wait, what are we doing??
- Did you glance at the person next to you — Well, I’ll do it if SHE does it?
- Anybody want to make sure you did it “right”?
Yes. That hesitation. Those questions. That story. That’s the spiral. And it’s gloriously common.
But doing it anyway ISN’T common… The audacity of taking action even when it’s likely to fail – or you get labeled a fool – or it so audacious it won’t make you any friends – that is the key to a life of imagination, joy, and impact.
But know this:
This isn’t just a speech about being brave enough to go after your dreams. This is a speech about how you – as Bennies – if you can shrug off the fear of rejection – are exactly the ones who can make all the difference in this world right now.
I cannot in good conscience stand in front of a room full of smart, passionate women in 2026 and not say this:
You are stepping into a world that is both endlessly possible — and where some people are determined to make you smaller. To diminish your power and your voice. Where your rights are being contested. And where the easy yes will wipe away your raw humanness in favor of tidy, automated perfection. Where the message underneath all the noise, is: follow the rules. Be a good girl. Don’t make trouble. Just go along.
I don’t think they’ll win. But they are trying.
And your mission — in the face of that — is to be brave enough to go for the no anyway. To take up more space. To be unlikable. To risk rejection in favor of your values, and your undeniable worth.
Afterall, we are Bennies. We have been surrounded by and taught by women who went for the no for all the right reasons. Nuns who stood up for justice when it was costly. Who broke barriers, questioned systems, and insisted on both belonging and change. Who modeled what it looks like to be a Succulent, Wild Woman long before it was a sticker, or a book, or a speech title.
You sit here today a benefactor of their courage.
And we — this community, this world — will be the benefactor of yours.
So today, in honor of the title of the speech I never gave — I want you to know this:
You, Bennies, are Succulent, Wild Women.
Every single one of you.
Congratulations on this incredible achievement. Now, it’s time for you to go for the no.
*****
To watch this speech, click here. Sally’s segment begins around 1:15 in.
